Update: 10/16/2000: Well, the play is over. I learned a lot! Like, what "Blocking" and a "Technical rehearsal" are. I also learned a lot about myself, and what I can do. It's late, and I'm tired, so I'll update this more when I have time to think about the whole experience.

Update: 9/11/2000:

The performance dates are October 5, 6, 7, 12, 13, 14. Time has yet to be determined, but probably around 8 pm. Location: The Charlestown Working Theater, 442 Bunker Hill Street, Charlestown, Ma. Rehearsals are going well, we went off book September 1st.

7/10/2000: I'll have more info as it becomes available. Below is the story up to this point.

It's kind of long, so get comfortable.

I've always had a secret desire. Ever since I was young, I wanted to be an actor. I performed in a couple of plays when I was young. In Junior High School I took Drama. When I got to High School, I was persuaded (by parents, teachers, guidance councelors) to abandon Drama, and concentrate on college prep courses. So I did.

I never lost the desire to perform. I graduated high school in 1978, and got on with my life. I got married in 83, my wife had a son in 87. Life went on. In 93, I went back to school full time. As part of my degree program, I had to take some Fine Arts courses. I took two semesters of acting.

Through a rather strange series of misadventures, I happened to hear of
an open audition for a new theater group preparing to produce an
original play. I was not looking for this, it just sort of fell into my
lap. Because of the way I heard about it, I decided it was fate, and
went on the audition. Sometimes, you just can't ignore the gods, you
know?

So, on July 7th I went to the Charlestown Working Theater, a
converted firehouse in Charlestown, a section of Boston. This was my
first ever professional audition. I had no resume, no headshot,
nothing. I just went. All I knew was it was an original play, the play
was set in 1970, and was an outrageous comedy.

I figured I'd try to look as 1970 as possible. I have long hair I
usually wear in a pony tail, but for this I blow dried it to look more
rock and roll. I wore a pair of jeans, black leather boots, and a black
"Peasant" shirt I have that laces down the front. Actually, my wife
bought it for me from Frederick's of Hollywood a few years ago, they
call it a "Greek Fisherman's shirt". Anyway, I was dressed as well as I
could be.

I had no idea what I was walking into. The auditions were friday night,
and saturday all day. I figured it would be best to friday night, there
would less people there, and I was right. There were a total of 7 guys
and 1 woman who showed up. The building is rough. I mean real rough.
It's a halfway converted firehouse, it's really not finished yet. The
actual stage area seats about 100. I didn't care!! It was a stage! A
theater! And I was at my first audition! Can you tell I was excited?

I got a couple of handouts from one of the people there. The first
explains the mission of the theater company, officially "Evil Cat
Theater Company". This is from their statement:

ECTC is a group of four delusionaries warped by years of theater
experience: creative, technical, historical, theoretical. We are an
independent theater company, professional in spirit and attitude, and
committed to the fun and excitement inherent in all theatrical
adventures. Our creative and spiritual foreparents are as much Moscow
Art Theatre as Ridiculous Theatre Company, as much Wayang Kulit as
comedia dell'arte, even Mae West, the Marx Brothers, and Russ Meyer.

We dream of enlarging our company and to this end we will encourage
talent, our and others, everyone gleaning new insights and skills. We
promise to seek: new scripts from established and beginning playwrights,
performers of all persuasions, designers of various schools--artists of
the theatre who can convince us of their vision, if not their
competence.

Even as we realize this dream of founding ECTC, we stand fully warned by
theatre history, littered as it is with the numerous corpses of similar
ventures, but sometimes you just have to say "What the hell!"

See, this was exactly the attitude I wanted. I wanted to have fun doing
this. I wanted to work with people I could learn from. I figured, I'm
just starting out as an actor, and they are just starting out as a
theater company. What the hell, give it a shot.

Another handout gave a basic description of the play, and the characters
not yet cast. Here are the descriptions:

The play is "Hefty Burdens", by Walter Prince.

Hefty Burdens is set in New York and Florida in 1970. It concerns one
determined woman's quest to produce and direct a no budget exploitation
movie. Along the way, she must deal with opinionated and near crazy
relatives, a pill addled Israeli stripper, a romantically inclined
double agent, and a large sink hole. Think Ed Wood as a woman meets
Austin Powers on the set of "Boogie Nights".

Characters:

Sunni Grey: 40ish, tough but vulnerable film maker

Mike Pope: 30ish. A double, possibly triple agent trained to
infiltrate subversive groups, but has he gone too far?

Saul: 30+. Sunni's long suffering, closeted best friend.

Bernice Grey: 30ish, Sunni's sister in law. Wannabe writer and
adulterer.

Henry Hill: 18+. Down on his luck porno actor.

Melissa: 18+. Sunni's niece. Sweet tempered girl who has occasional
outbursts of hysteria.

The rolls of Hefty Burdens, the stripper and star of the film, and Karl
Grey, Sunni's brother in law who owns a gun store, have been cast
already.

OK, so that was the play and character descriptions. Once we were
seated in the theater, the playwright, Walter, began to pass out parts
of the script. I was given 5 sets of pages, with 3 or 4 sheets stapled
to a set. He had all of the guys read for all of the male parts. The
first part I read for was Saul. I was not ready for this.

I got on the stage with my 4 pages of script. Walter says "Ok, you are
old enough to know this reference. Saul is a closeted gay, along the
lines of Charles Nelson Ryley or Paul Lynde". I must have had a real
strange look on my face because everyone cracked up laughing. I gave it
my best shot, but it wasn't anywhere near what he wanted. I got some
polite applause, and got off the stage quick.

The next part I read for was Henry, the porno actor. I thought I was
ok, the applause was a little better, but I wasn't really thrilled about
this character.

The last part I read for was Mike, the secret agent and one of the leads
in the play. Part of the secret agent thing with this character is that
every time he comes on stage, he looks and acts totally different than
the time before. The first scene I did, Walter told me to be "So gay
that even gay people would say 'what's wrong with this guy?'". Now, I'm
6 feet tall, 190 pounds, and extremely heterosexual. I was lost. Then
I remembered one of my wife's favorite shows "Will and Grace". Her
favorite character on the show is "Jack", an extremely flamboyant gay
man. So, I was Jack, or at least as close as I could get. It must have
been good because they were all dying laughing through the whole scene.

He had me stay on stage and do the next scene, where Mike is now a tough
guy, mafioso type, trying to extort money from the movie's producers. I
had to yell and threaten people, look intimidating. I'm good at this, I
do this in real life so people will leave me alone. I looked to one of
my favorite actors, Robert Deniro, for inspiration. He is such a good
ganster/homicidal maniac. When I finished, there was much applause and
general approval.

I hung out for a while, and watched the other actors go through the
scenes. Wow, other actors, like, I'm including myself in there now! I
talked to the founders of the theater company about what I want to do
with myself with acting. They all seemed real interested. I went home
to wait.

Well, on Sunday night I got a call from the playwright, Walter. They went through the full day of auditions Saturday, and got a huge turnout. They had a
tough time casting, they had to choose between 2 or 3 good people for
all of the parts. Except one. I got the part of Mike Pope, the secret
agent!! Here are some of the things he told me, in no certain order:

"You walked away with the part."
"You have amazing presence, you filled the stage"

I have to start somewhere, and I think this is a good place. I'll be
with a group just starting out, with people who have years of theater
experience. I have to keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not
dreaming. I feel like "who are you kidding, you're no actor". But they
are willing to bring me along, and teach me what they know. And I'll
even make a couple of bucks along the way. Most importantly, they want
to make it fun, and that's why I want to do this. I enjoy it, I love
being on stage.