Bill of No Rights
By Greg McNeil
We, the sensible of the United States,
in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance
of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote
positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty
to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try
one more time to ordain and establish some common-sense guidelines
for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional, and other
socialist "progressives". We hold these truths to be
self- evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the
Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.
Article I
You do not have the right to a new
car, big-screen color TV, or any other form of wealth. More power
to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing
anything.
Article II
You do not have the right to never
be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means
freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room,
turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world
is full of idiots and probably always will be.
Article III
You do not have the right to be
free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn
to be more careful. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make
you and all your relatives independently wealthy.
Article IV
You do not have the right to free
food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to
be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly
growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional
couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another
generation of couch potatoes.
Article V
You do not have the right to free
health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public
housing, we're just not interested in public health care.
Article VI
You do not have the right to physically
harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or
kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together
and beat the crap out of you or kill you.
Article VII
You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods
or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest
of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still
won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.
Article VIII
You do not have the right to demand
that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your
aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift
a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However,
we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to
spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant
with a military uniform and a funny hat.
Article IX
You do not have the right to a job.
All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you
along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the
opportunities in education and vocational training laid before
you to make yourself useful.
Article X
You do not have the right to happiness.
Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness
-- which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered
by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those around you
who were confused by the Bill of Rights.
Send, Fax, or somehow, get a copy
of this to your Congress Critters, both State, and Federal.. Lets
give them a message that they won't soon forget.
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